First Paycheck

Today was my first paycheck! First time I earn my own money :D

I've been working for two weeks now and I didn't think of my salary, I even forgot that today is the last day of the month and that I will receive my first paycheck, when the manager gave it to me I was like yaaaaaay yaaaaaay.

Actually its not much, not much at all! My salary isn't high and I only received half of it lol.. but still it felt great to make my own money for the first time in my life!! OK now I'm repeating myself hehehehe..

I just felt like sharing it with the world :D I'll be back with more details about my new job and how much I love it despite the fact that I'm a picky person oo fesh eshy be3jbny :D.

will be back in few days.

A friend of your mind

"She is a friend of mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It's good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind."

I was studying for my exam tomorrow, and as always; when there is an exam I find like a thousand things to do and a million sites to surf on the net.
Anyhow I came across this saying by someone who I don't really recognize, I even forgot to copy his name, and when I noticed that the page was already closed. So just for the sake of copy rights laws; THIS ISN'T SAID BY ME.
I've never thought of having a friend of my mind, when I first read this quote I was a little bit confused with the term. Can we have Mind friends?! and from the opposite sex?! I guess he is such a lucky man to find such a girl.
They say Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - I believe I'm from Jupiter lol - , that is men are Martians which is weird, but women are Venusian which is weirder!! Maybe Men can't understand Women but can understand themselves. Women can't understand Men, other Women, nor themselves.
So finding a girl/guy who not only understands you; but also understands your mind is a real blessing.
The best part of the saying above - which also happens to be soooo romantic - is when he said that she gathers his pieces and gives them back to him in the right order. It's like being his mentor, his guardian angel, his best match. I wonder if such a match can happen to anyone, or is it a phenomena!

Choosing the major of my concentration

I started my MBA in July 2006 , at that time I thought I should concentrate on MIS, I took a couple of courses and then changed my mind and decided to go for general MBA.

Last quarter I took "International Marketing" course, and liked it a lot, and thought to myself that it's a new major and not so many ppl has it so I should go for it. So I went to the admission and changed my concentration to "International Business", but I got a B in that course coz I have a huge problem in memorizing stuff.

This quarter I am taking "International Corporate Finance" and I'm loving, I figured out that I love finance and I'm so good at it. I get it easily and enjoy it. Actually I knew that about myself when I took the "Financial Management" course, but I was told that I shouldn't depend on that coz I took that course with an American Prof. and they told me he was easy on us.

Bottom line: I have no idea what to do :D

Shall I go for International Business which will get me good job opportunities according to the face that it's a new Major in Jordan. Or shall I go for Finance which I really love and easily get, and will also get me relatively good opportunities but unlike the International Business.

Hoffft I'm confused :S

Feminine, In a different way

I've been raised in a family that consists of four boys and one girl; ME.

People always used to - and still - ask me "don't you wish sometimes you had a sister to play with, to talk to!" But I honestly never got that feeling! not even once in my life.

And although my brothers are older than me - the youngest before me is six years older than I am - but I've always enjoyed my life with them.

Mom used to get me lots of dolls and barbies; but I never ever played with them, and when I did; I used to use my barbies as wrestlers when my brothers wouldn't let me play with theirs.

In my childhood days we lived in a building with six apartments; There was Abu Ashraf who had 3 sons. Abu Ziad, 3 sons. Abu Maher, 5 sons. 3ammo Abdelqader, 2 sons and 2 daughters (who were more than 10 years older than me). And then the neighbors next door who were two old couple living by themselves. Not even that I didn't have sisters; but I didn't have any female neighbors.

I grew older and I started having some female friends, but it took me sometime to understand them. Or actually I didn't! No one can ever get females! we are sooooo complicated! I doubt that any female can understand herself! But I could at least find a way to deal with them.

When guys start joking about females I crack up, especially when they talk about their way in driving cars! OMG women suck with cars! whenever I see a car doing something stupid; I know for sure it's a female. And I'm always right.

I was called anti-feminist before; and honestly I am. I don't believe in equality between women and men. It's soooo ridiculous. I mean I do think that women should get all their rights. They should be treated with respect, have the chance to get a decent well-payed job, and stuff like that. But being equal to men is just a headache for both; men and women.

What I am trying to say here is that I've always had this struggle between males and females mentalities! I am a perfect female when it comes to nagging and making up fights out of nothing, but I feel with men when I act like that with them! Poor men!

I am very feminine when it comes to love and romance, but I can understand how it can b frustrating to men. I do believe that there are many intellectual females, but I also believe that at some points we can be so lame!

Despite all that, I love being a female, I really do with all my heart. We are kind, delicate, caring, loving, romantic, socially smart, and most of all men can't live without us.

Closures

I was out with a group of friends yesterday and I was in a really bad mood, apparently it showed!

One of my friends started talking to me; she seems to have a special gift that she can somehow read people; I don't usually take these talks seriously, coz I don't really believe that anyone can read other people's minds or personalities.

But I was really impressed with the things she has said! I was totally shocked that she could read me that easily! Is it that she is sooo good in that, or am I so easy to be read like an open book.

"You act like you fully trust people; but deep inside you don't, you are too afraid to trust anyone cause you've been through bad experiences." OMG, that is sooo true, although I deny it!I really want to trust people, but she is right, deep inside I can't! But I keep on giving people chances, which makes it harder for me. I don't block people; but yet I don't fully trust them.

"You are lost and indecisive." well I guess that is written on my forehead. I am totally lost, my life is a mess. I've always known what I want to do in my life, I've always been in control of everything. But not anymore, and it's killing me.

"You have a broken heart, but you can't stay this way, you need a CLOSURE. or else you won't ever get married." That was the hardest thing I heard last night! I always act like everything is OK. Whenever I get hurt I just turn the page over and move on; or do I? It seems I never move on, I just put things on the shelf. I might not think of them, but they are still there causing me heartache all the time without realising it.

I was out of words last night, she shocked me with a truth I never wanted to believe. How sad is that! I donno if I'm going to turn over the pages again and again, or will I have the courage to close all the past pages in my life that need to be closed!

~sigh~

العرسان

هاد الموضوع معصبني و ضارب على عصبي أول إشي بنرفز من الأسلوب تبع النسوان اللي بتيجي بدها تفحص قبل ما ييجي ابنها المصون، صارت امي تحكيلهم من اولها ييجي الشاب معهم! طبعا في ناس ما بترد ما أسوء هاد الأسلوب! يوجولي لما تيجي الأم لحالها ما بيرجعو! شكلي ما بعجب النسوان بكونو ارتاحو و ريحو صراحة! ما بتدايق بشلن.. لما ييجي الشاب بالعادة بيرجعو بيحكو!! أنا سو فار يعني ما حدا من الي إجوني بهاي الطريقة عجبني.. فلما يحكو و ماما تحكيلهم ما في نصيب ذي جيت أوفينديد !! إنه كيف ترفضي إبننا الوردة! طيب يعني بالله لما ما يرجع هو لبنت مش بكون عم يرفض بنتنا الوردة!! كل الموضوع هاد بفقع المرارة و بزهق و بطلغ الروح أففففففتتتت بحكي لأمي خلص يا ماما ما بدي حدا ييجي، بتحاول الحزينة لما يحكو معها تحكيلهم منال بدها تخلص دراستها هلأ مو مفكرة تتجوز! بيحرجوها و بحكولها طيب عالقليل بنيجي بنكسب معرفتكم، طبعا أمي ؛للي ما بعرفها فهي كتير هادية و رايقة و ما بتعرف تكسف نملة؛ فبتحكيلهم أهلا و سهلا
صرلنا 3-4 سنين على هالحال إشي بفرفط الروح
خلصت فضفضة، أشكر لكم حسن استماعكم

Blablabing

It's been a while since i wrote anything here! It's not that I'm busy or anything! (well, honestly I'm very busy these days, but that's not the reason :D ) , it's just that I dont feel like writting , or even expressing myself! I donno what's the matter with me! I'm becoming cold-hearted! I've always been a warm and kind person, and even passionate in some issues! but I'm not that kind of person anymore!

I cant say I'm depressed, coz I'm not.. bel 3ax I'm kind of happy :D and I'm loving the way I am living my life now! I don't care for people anymore, or let me rephrase it, I don't care for everyone! only for those who really love me. and NOT the ones who claim that they do! Life is much easier this way! I used to care for everyone and everything, but I just think that its not worth it.. Haik el 7aya ajmal :D

Or maybe it's just a phase I'm going through! Eh, I don't really care to know! All I care for is that I'm really enjoying it :D

Oh My God

I'm feeling just weird!! you know the feeling when sth happens at night! and you wake up next morning not realising what happened, like it was just a dream. Like nth really happened and you were just hallucinating . Then everything start coming together. You put all the pieces together and you figure out that it really happened. You start laughing for no reason that everyone around you think you are going insane. "OMG what have I done" is what you keep saying to yourself. Acting as if you didn't want it to happen , and deep inside you're giggling :D

OK , I think I have to stop here..

إنك لا تهدي من أحببت ، ولكن الله يهدي من يشاء

لا أدري من أين أبدأ و أين أنتهي

يؤرقني دائما التفكير فيمن أحب

أنظر إلى والدي فأرى فيه الإنسان اللّي لطالما كان "و سيبقى"بالنسبة لي ، أحسن رجل في العالم

لم أهتم يوما لأن أغير أحدا

لأنني على قناعة تامة بأن لكل شخص حرية الاختيار

لكن عندما يصبح الأمر داخل دائرة من أحب، أقف حائرة أتمنى لو أن بيدي شيئا أستطيع فعله

كل ما أملكه هو دعائي و دموعي

يااااا رب

My Confused Life

Every night before i sleep , I say to myself :"come on manal, u have to make some change in your life" . I get very anxious about it and I start planning for the next day; the things that need to be changed , the things that've been missing in my life for sooooo long.

I wake up LATE the next morning. Feeling down and sleepy. It takes me more than half an hour to get up from my bed. And the hours go by; without me doing anything useful.

Whenever I'm with friends,they start talking about their lives. Most of them are married with kids. Although it really bores me, but I can feel the happiness in their voice tones! They live for a reason. But me? Huh I have no clue!

Whenever I get depressed I start looking for the bright sides in my life! I am doing my MBA , I have a great family, Mom and Dad are out of this world. They are the best parents that anyone could ever have!I have 4 wonderful Brothers with lots of nephews and nieces. I am surrounded by people who loves me! Great friends whom I wouldn't trade with the world.

BUT, I just can't feel happiness.. is it بطر? I don't think it is..

Sometimes when I feel down I remember the saying : "في القلب فراغ لا يملأه إلا الله". Is that the reason for all what I am getting through! I do pray and do my religious chores.. But is that enough? I sometimes feel that I am spiritually poor.

Eh! I never had the talent to write; and of course it shows! I just cant get my thoughts together! I just wanted to let things off my chest!! wishing that it makes me feel a little bit better!! I hope it did!

Last Tag

oo mesh mjawbeh b3d haik 5alas kafaha Allah :D

I've been re-tagged by Hala

1. My name:

Hala

2. Where did we meet?:

Mahjoob

3. How well do you know me (a lot, not so much, not at all)?:

Good enough i guess.

4. When you first knew me what was your first impression?:

I thought that u only speak english :P

5. Am I shy or outgoing?:

Shy

6. Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?:

You follow the rules

7. Do you consider me a friend?:

Sure

8. If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be?:

Halool

9. What song(if any)reminds you of me?:

Fairuz's songs

10. Do I remind you of any characters on TV?:

Hmmm not really

11. A feature that you like about me:

You can express youself

12. A feature that you dislike about me:

it's not a feature, but i feel that you're Mysterious.

13. If you could give me anything, what would it be?:

I'd give you a 2 months visit to Jordan every year ;)

14. If we spent a day together…..where would we go and what would we do?:

We'd go to a Fairuz concert

15. If you could describe me in one word, what would it be?:

Intellectual

16. What word do I say all the time?:

I really dont notice these things hehe

17. which of the posts I posted on my blog do you like the most?:

Cheer Up

18. which of the posts I posted on my blog do you like the least?:

Cold Stone Creamery l2no shahhaiteeny :(